Text: Gen. 2:18, 21-23; 24:12-21; Heb. 13:4
When a believer (a brother) has sought the will of God and become convinced that he has known same, the first “port of call” is the pastor, or marriage elders (committee) set up by the pastor to act for and report to him. This is so because, the pastors and elders of the church are they whom the Lord has raised to feed, direct, rule and oversee the flock in all things until heaven is achieved (Act. 20:17-18, 28; 1Pet. 5:1-2; Jn. 21:15-17).
Following this information, the pastor or marriage elders will proceed to scrutinize and investigate to ensure genuiness of the brother’s testimony of God’s leading, . The committee will then send the brother and sister for medical examination to determine their physical/medical fitness or otherwise to enter into a marriage programme with each other. The freeness, soundness and maturity of the sister in question is also assertained. On their being convinced of the genuineness of the brother’s testimony and the freeness, soundness and maturity of the sister, coupled with their medical compatibility, the brother is permitted to share his testimony with the sister, which thing must be done in such a place and manner that make for holiness.
It is not uncommon that some unsaved fellows can cook up marriage testimonies or the devil could deceive some people by marriage vision or otherwise. This makes the testimony scrutiny necessary.
Some marriages were discovered to be thrown into untold sorrow, regrets and anguish due to medical incompatibilities of the couples, arising from genetic and other health related factors. The marriage committee owes the intending couples the duty of discovering these factors and counseling the brother and sister appropriately to avoid the grave consequences/hazards of such factors in marriage.
In the case of a sister bringing a testimony of God’s leading to a brother, such should pray and wait for the brother to know it and make the approach, since it is usually men who approach women. However, in some peculiar circumstances, a sister can be allowed to share her testimony with a brother (as may be instructed, advised or arranged by the marriage elders (committee).
After the said brother’s testimony has been related to the sister, sufficient time must be allowed the sister to pray for confirmation or otherwise. No tactics, or any form of influence or inducement must be used on her while her prayer lasts.
All the above rule is rooted in the fact that it is the will of God that must be done (Mtt. 6:10; 26:39, 42; Act. 21:14), the Lord is not the author of confusion (Cor.. 14:33), the church is not a place of confusion, but a place where all things are done decently, in order and to the glory of God (Cor.. 14:40; 10:31).
In the event of a sister confirming that a brother’s testimony is true, and informing the brother of same, the two can now be allowed to go into courtship.