To find a wife or a husband is to find a good thing (Pro. 18:22). But prior to finding a wife or a husband, there is usually some urge in the heart to get married.
There are the following forms of urge for marriage:
a. Natural Urge: This is that which rises from the fact that one is of age, making one to feel incomplete, unsatisfied, unsettled. This urge is inherent and latent, but could rise during maturity. The reason for being inherent is the fact that Eve was made from a part taken out of Adam, and when she was brought to him, Adam had a sense of completeness and satisfaction (Gen. 2:21-31). So unmarried men and women could feel incomplete and unsatisfied when they attain maturity.
This urge can arise in the hearts of both believers and sinners alike – bachelors, spinsters, widows, widowers, divorced or separated.
b. Urge Through Circumstances: Apart from natural urge, there are certain circumstances that can (if allowed) cause marriage-urge to rise up in the heart of the believer or sinner. These include the following:
i. As the mind is allowed to be pre-occupied with thoughts of marriage and marital issues, as others around get married or live the married life.
ii. As one considers difficulties which one thinks that being married would solve.
iii. As pressures to get married are allowed to come upon ones heart from ones parents or relatives.
iv. As one yields to the yearnings of ones members, termed ‘burning’ (Cor.. 7:9).
As with natural urge, urge due to circumstances can come upon believers or sinners – bachelors, spinsters, divorced, separated, widows or widowers.
NB: If restrained is not exercised, urge due to these circumstances lead people into error entirely, hasty of wrong marriages.
c. Urge By The Lord: This kind of urge is often the privilege of those who defy maturity or pressures, going ahead with their worship and service of the Lord, even being willing to live celibate lives, if the Lord so desires.
Usually, at the appointed time, they will begin to sense a persuasion in their hearts to get married.