The means of finding the perfect will of God in marriage is through asking (by prayers) for guidance and waiting for same (Mtt. 7:7; Phil. 4:6; Ps. 37:4). Such prayers must be from a heart that is free, a heart willing to receive whatever the Lord wants to give, knowing fully well that the perfect will of God is the best for one.
The prayers could be the type that Abraham’s servant made asking for signs (Gen. 24:10-14; comp. Judg. 6:36-40). It could be prayers just asking the Lord for guidance of whatever form, as He may choose.
NB: It is possible for one to have made selection in the heart and yet pray for God’s guidance. This is hypocrisy, which thing often results in dreams from the devils, confirming what is already in the heart (Ezk. 14:1-4). All that glitters, they say, is not gold.
The things that are highly esteemed by men may be an abomination in the sight of God (Lk. 16:15). The standards set by men for themselves may be their undoing. The mind must be left unbiased, for God to direct or lead it. Whereas, it is possible for a person to desire a thing, such desires must not be presented as a yard stick for choice before God. Such will mean recommending to God what He should give or leading the Lord to choose, whereas He (God) should lead us to choose or rather choose for us.
We don’t choose a husband/wife and present to God to approve, rather He chooses for us and plants His love/virtue to prove His choice (cons. Gen. 2:21-23). God brought the woman to the man Adam and the Adam quickly recognized the woman as missing rib, and was glad.
Let us be careful to allow God to lead us, this is the best way. Remember that to find a wife is to obtain favour from God (Prov. 18:22).